Que será, será

On every step of my journey into motherhood I have had to make decisions and choices. Sometimes I follow my heart, sometimes a book. I’ve even had experiences when a friend would casually mention, “I’m doing this with my baby now…” and I’d quickly do some research to find out if I should be doing that too!

The list is endless: disposable diaper, cloth diapers, bottle, no bottles, co-sleeping, crib sleeping, to carry or not to carry, what to feed, how to feed etc.

Through the years there have been people who have supported my choices, questioned them and in some cases said I was wrong. Whatever decisions I’ve made I have tried with my heart to trust and believe that I’m doing the best that I can.

The best advice I can give is to be flexible in your approach. Coming at motherhood from a yoga perspective, yoga is not just flexibility in the body it’s also flexibility in our minds and thoughts. If you choose to do something one way and you end up fighting that path then change and see what else is out there.

Each day our babies grow and we need to grow up with them. My children are bigger now but I still have to make choices to help them mature into their beauty and confidence. We can’t know what the future holds but we can try our best to be present right now.

12/12/12 – this evening my daughter was playing the song “Que será, será” on her ukulele! She wanted to know what it meant so I sang my best Doris Day impression to her which got me thinking about this post…

Yes, whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours, to see…

Que será, será

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Songwriters: Jay Livingston and Ray Evans

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Doulas: Angels in Waiting

A doula is a person who supports you in your pregnancy and will be with you during labor to help in any way she can. Doulas are not trained to do medical procedures, but whether you are at home or a hospital they can help explain things to you and your partner when questions arise, help make decisions if you are unsure what to do, be a sounding board, and advocate for you with hospital staff.

My husband’s first reaction when I said that I wanted to look into getting a doula was, “Why? I’ll be there!” This is a very normal reaction for partners. It seems that we are employing someone to take away their role in the labor room. In fact, the doula is there to support both your experiences. She will give your partner a chance to just be there without having to figure out what to do.

My husband said after we had our first baby that he was so glad our doula, Barbara Essman, of Sacred Birthing, was there and he couldn’t imagine doing labor again without her.

Some doulas offer massage therapy before you have your baby and can even help with after-labor care (postpartum doula).

When you are looking for a doula, treat it like an interview – you have to like and trust the person you are choosing. Initially call or meet a couple of different doulas on your own. When you find one you like set up a separate meeting for the doula to meet your partner. It is important that your partner supports you in getting a doula. They may feel threatened by the idea but once you are in labor they’ll be happy there is an extra support person there to help you both cope with labor.

I was recently talking to Katja Bajema (see below) and she recommended calling and chatting with a doula first over the phone.  Both you and the doula can get a good sense of whether you will be a good fit and then you can make arrangements to meet up face-to-face.  Sometimes meetings are arranged and as soon as you meet you just know you won’t click.  Having some interview time on the phone will save you some precious time!

Typical questions to ask a doula are:

– How long have you been doing this and what kind of training have you had?
– How many births do you attend a year?
– Can I call or meet you before I go into labor? Is there any charge for these visits?
– Do you offer pregnancy massage? If not, can you recommend someone?
– How do you support women (and partners) during labor?
– If I am having my baby at a hospital can you meet us at home or at the hospital?
– If for some reason you aren’t available do you have a back-up person who can help?
– How much do you charge?  What does your fee include? (Fees range $300–$1,000)

Barbara Essman at my side while laboring with the twins (April 2006).

DOULA LIST:

Amberdawn Doggendorf
(360) 649-7260
www.facebook.com/amberbirthservices

Crystal Minnick Doula
email: crystal.minnick@gmail.com
website: www.lovinglotusbirth.com, www.facebook.com/lovinglotusbirth

Jaymie Lewis
Doula, Lactation Counselor (CLC Certified Lactation Counselor), Assistant Midwife
(808) 783-0361 (office)
(808) 228-9576 (cell)
email: sacredhealingarts@gmail.com
website: www.sacredhealingarts.info

Jenna Clarke of Mālama Momma
Master of Public Health, Doula, Essential oil educator
(808) 597-0593
email: jenna@malamamomma.com
website: www.malamamomma.com

Jenna Esposito (doula in training) (05/2012)
(808) 381-3092
email: jennarationyarns@gmail.com

Jessica Fujimoto (05/2012)
(808) 561-1383
email: reclaimingmotherhood@gmail.com
website: www.reclaiming-motherhood.com

Kari Wheeling (current 2017)
DOÑA trained birth doula
(808) 330-2005
email: kariwheeling@yahoo.com

Kathryn Julia (05/2012)
(808) 375-3465
email: Kathryn@EmbodiedBirth.com
website: www.embodiedbirth.com

Katie Culberson-Mammen
Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula
(619) 508-2333
email: doulakate78@gmail.com
website: www.facebook.com/bumptobabybirthoahu

Katja Bajema (current 2017)
AAHCC, Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula
BEST Birth Hawaii: Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Center
+ for full list of Katja’s service please visit her website
(808) 366-0230
email: info@bestbirthhawaii.com
website: bestbirthhawaii.com, bradleybirth.com/katjabajema

Lea Garner (current 2017)
DOÑA trained birth doula, CD(DONA), HCHI, CLC
808-690-4445
email: lea@hibabykailua.com
website: www.oahubirthservices.com or www.hibabykailua.com

Leanna Andrade (05/2012)
(808) 780-3381
email: pilateshawaii@yahoo.com

Maria Price
DOÑA certified birth doula and DOÑA trained postpartum doula
(808) 722-2705
email: pacificdoula@gmail.com
website: www.pacificdoula.com

Pat Goding (current 2017)
RN, BSN
(808) 677-8554
email: roscoe@hawaii.rr.com
website: http://www.hawaiichildbirthprofessionals.org/

Piper S. Lovemore
CD(DOÑA), (Complimentary service: Placenta Encapsulation Training Specialist,Lamaze CBE, Midwife Under Supervision)
(808) 861-7168
email: pipersunshine@gmail.com

Sayaka Blakeney (current 2017)
Certified Lactation Consultant, Prenatal Yoga Instructor, Trained Doula
808-372-2054
email: mamaluvbb@gmail.com

Tara Compehos
Doula, Midwifery arts degree from The Matrona Midwifery School
(808) 450-0498
email: rootsremedieshawaii@gmail.com
website: www.rootsremedieshawaii.etsy.com, facebook.com/rootsremedieshawaii

Tara Mattes, L.Ac.
Doula, Licensed Acupuncturist
(808) 783-0361 (office)
email: sacredhealingarts@gmail.com
website: www.sacredhealingarts.info

Dr Ye Nguyen (current 2017)
Midwife, Doula
(808) 388-7207
email: dryenguyen@gmail.com

POSTPARTUM DOULA LIST:

Crystal Minnick Doula
email: crystal.minnick@gmail.com
website: www.lovinglotusbirth.com, www.facebook.com/lovinglotusbirth

Katie Culberson-Mammen
Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula
(619) 508-2333
email: doulakate78@gmail.com
website: www.facebook.com/bumptobabybirthoahu

Katja Bajema (current 2017)
AAHCC, Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula
BEST Birth Hawaii: Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Center
+ for full list of Katja’s service please visit her website
(808) 366-0230
email: info@bestbirthhawaii.com
website: bestbirthhawaii.com, bradleybirth.com/katjabajema

Lea Garner (current 2017)
DOÑA trained birth doula, CD(DONA), HCHI, CLC
808-690-4445
email: lea@hibabykailua.com
website: www.oahubirthservices.com or www.hibabykailua.com

Maria Price
DOÑA certified birth doula and DOÑA trained postpartum doula
(808) 722-2705
email: pacificdoula@gmail.com
website: www.pacificdoula.com

Jessica Fujimoto (05/2012)
(808) 561-1383
email: reclaimingmotherhood@gmail.com
website: www.reclaiming-motherhood.com

Teresa Chow (05/2012)
(808) 551-9714
email: chowchow653@gmail.com
website: www.malamathemama.com

MIDWIFE LIST:

Dr Lori Kimata
Naturopathic Physician and Midwife
(808) 783-0361
website: sacredhealingarts.info/about-us/

Dr Madeleine Portuondo
Naturopathic Physician and Midwife
(808) 783-0361
website: sacredhealingarts.info/about-us/

Tara Compehos
Doula, Midwifery arts degree from The Matrona Midwifery School
(808) 450-0498
email: rootsremedieshawaii@gmail.com
website: www.rootsremedieshawaii.etsy.com, facebook.com/rootsremedieshawaii

Vanessa Jansen
CPM/Traditional Midwife
(808) 754-6122
email: vanessacpmwaldorf@gmail.com
website: littlelightmidwifery.com

Dr Ye Nguyen (current 2017)
Midwife, Doula
(808) 388-7207
email: dryenguyen@gmail.com

OTHER SERVICES:

Jaymie Lewis
Lactation Counselor (CLC Certified Lactation Counselor), Doula, Assistant Midwife
(808) 783-0361 (office)
(808) 228-9576 (cell)
email: sacredhealingarts@gmail.com
website: www.sacredhealingarts.info

Jenna Clarke of Mālama Momma
Essential oil educator, Master of Public Health, Doula
(808) 597-0593
email: jenna@malamamomma.com
website: www.malamamomma.com

Kaela Kajiyama
AAHCC, Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula, Bradley Method Instructor
(808) 393-5967
email: sunshine.birth@gmail.com
website: sunshinebirthoahu.com

Dr Micaire Baxter
International Chiropractic Pediatric Association and
Webster Certified (hip alignment for breech babies)
(808) 521-9686
email: globalhealthchiro@yahoo.com
website: www.globalhealthchiropractic.com

Sayaka Blakeney (current 2017)
Certified Lactation Consultant, Prenatal Yoga Instructor, Trained Doula
808-372-2054
email: mamaluvbb@gmail.com

Dr Shelley Kasprick
International Chiropractic Pediatric Association and
Webster Certified (hip alignment for breech babies)
(808) 521-9686
email: globalhealthchiro@yahoo.com
website: www.globalhealthchiropractic.com

Tara Mattes, L.Ac.
Licensed Acupuncturist, Doula
(808) 783-0361 (office)
email: sacredhealingarts@gmail.com
website: www.sacredhealingarts.info

updated May 2017